Defining Moments

What is a defining moment in your life?

This question is interesting because not only is it deeply personal it is also very easy to answer.

I could choose from many childhood adventures, college shenanigans, or career frustrations. But the one thing that most significantly changed my life was a split-second decision that happened approximately five years ago., and while I can’t say for certain–I assume it was in fact, a Tuesday.

I had been a member of for months, and being your typical dorky, unattractive male, with not much of a personality–well, it was almost time to call it quits and pick up another cat.

Match began to offer Stir Events, wherein for an added fee you could attend a themed speed-dating event. Many of these were not really my scene, and could be pricey. One event in particular was to attend a rope climbing/zip-line challenge course at a local park. This did pique my interest because int the worst case scenario, I would still be able to claim to have done something that I have never tried before.

Getting up the guts

I needed to prepare. I like my hands, and know that ropes can be hard to handle, so I purchased a brand-new pair of tactical leather gloves from a local police/fire/nursing uniform store.

On the day of the event, I was so incredibly nervous that I arrived two hours early and waited in my car as the anxiety began to build. I weighed the pros and cons of leaving early and whether I could get my money back. Maybe I could fake an illness?

Eventually, with a push from the universe, I got out of my car and walked up to a group of people standing near the park entrance. There were two men, both of whom I cannot remember, and one woman about my age–also carrying a brand-new pair of tactical leather gloves. We made our introductions and headed into the course with the other event-goers who slowly began to trickle in.

Climbing to new heights

The course itself was constructed with small platforms in trees, 40-50 feet in the air connected by rope challenges to other platforms. Each trial had a challenge, such as walking a tightrope to the next platform and the zip-lining back to ground near the ladder to the next challenge. It was actually fun. The only issue was that the platforms could only hold 2-3 people at a time so it was very difficult to actually used the event for its intended speed-dating purpose. I was paired with a beautiful blonde girl named Allison*. Allison was scared of heights and needed encouragement. Naturally being the kindhearted, red-blooded man that I am I offered a hug and kiss for luck at every opportunity. Together we battled through the remaining challenges until it happened: one battle that we could not overcome–a sudden spring thunderstorm. The course staff closed the course and herded us back to our cars. I gave Allison a friendly hug goodbye and promised to call her soon to set up a real date.

That very evening I found Allison’s Match profile and sent her a message letting her know what a great time I had and that I would love to see her again. And of course, being your typical dorky, unattractive male with not much of a personality–I never heard from Allison again.

Becoming the new normal

But the strangest thing happened. Weeks later–just days before I planed to cancel my account and, of course, add another cat to the pile. My inbox lit up with message. The only other girl who remembered to bring gloves to a rope course, and whom I only spoke 3-4 words to at most. She found me. She had been looking for me. And in two months we will be celebrating our third wedding anniversary.

Every day I am ever grateful for having her in my life. For having someone who understands the imperfect me, and being okay with growing together-changing each other in the greatest ways-and dorking out together.

she is my amazing.


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